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Author Topic: Strict, overprotective parents--how much is too much?  (Read 261 times)
ProtectMeFromWhatIWant
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« on: October 26, 2008, 10:04:53 AM »
I'm currently a junior in high school. The thing is, I've never let my grades drop below a B+. I don't drink. I don't use recreational drugs. Basically, I listen to everything my parents say. I listen and OBEY.But how much is too much?For example, the other day, I was asking my mom if I could get a manicure. Just a whim, really, since I've never pampered myself. She said I'm crazy. Why would I want to waste money on something so ridiculous? Besides, I'm in HIGH SCHOOL. I'm not an adult.I never leave the house, because my parents don't trust me. When other teenagers are partying, I'm stuck in my room--studying. I've been best friends with a girl since seventh grade, but my parents don't even trust me with HER. Their argument usually consists of, "Do you want to go to college? Then you can't have crazy friends."And don't even mention boys.All in all, I'm very frustrated. It has to do mainly with my dad, who frightens me into subservience. With parents like this, there's no point in trying to use logic or reason. I have an "attitude."What I'm trying to ask is . . . Strict, overprotective parents--how much is too much? Is what I'm going through normal? How do YOUR parents treat you?Because when my dad hits me for having a personality, it's EXTREMELY hard not to implode.
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Lulu
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« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2008, 03:34:01 PM »
Your dad has no business hitting you. For whatever reason, they don't trust you. Try to talk to your mother in a quiet manner when he isn't around and ask her what you can do to change their attitude.If your dad continues to hit you, you better talk to a counselor at school. It may be your dad needs anger management.Good luck to you.
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amillie3
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« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2008, 09:03:09 PM »
Reminds me of mii friend's parents, the thing is, her parents actually trust her best friend from 7th grade 'cuz they kno her family--which is really religious--. About the hitting part, if u told Child protection Services, they'd bring u to a foster home, which will most likely be worst than home. Maybe u should butter your parents up for a few days(cook dinner, bake, clean, get an A+ on a test) before sitting down and POLITLEY talking eith them. DO NOT raise ur vaice even in a tiny bit and DO NOT USE A DEFENSIVE TONE, these both completely piss parents off. Good luck!
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BeaA
Guest
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2008, 02:32:17 AM »
It is interesting how you choose the word implode. Also your command of English is much better than the average teenager's command of it. I think that in some ways what you are going through is normal. In a lot of other homes it isn't. Do not compare your life to others' though as this only leads to unhappiness. You need to sit down with your parents and construct your case in a very adult way. Approach it in the same way you think your father would if he had to ask for a raise or a promotion.Ask him to help you put a case together and tell him that it is a school project. Once you have the principles, make an appointment with your parents and share the details of your grievances with them. Remember when you talk to them that they love you and that they are really doing the best they can. They worry about the world around you and do not know if you can survive all the peer pressure and dangers out there. This does not mean that they do not trust you. They do not the world.When you are talking with them, listen to what they have to say with rapt attention and try to form a partnership with them. Next time you ask for a manicure, ask your mom to go along with you because you think she needs the pampering and then be sure to compliment her on how good she looks. Turn it into a special bonding moment.I know it is tough right now and sometimes it never gets better. sometimes you have to hold on till you can leave home and make your own way, but always remember that talking to them as an adult should help. Let me know how it goes and if this advice helped at all.
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mimmi
Guest
« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2008, 08:01:25 AM »
wow, that really sucks. my parents are kinda like that too. I guess when you reason with them you should watch the tone you take and see how what your saying sounds to them. make sure you sound mature and confident. step into their shoes, you should know your parents well enough to be able to manipulate them(wow that sounds bad). the next time they give you crap about being mature and thinking of your future, you should tell them that now is the time for a person to make mistakes and grow, when you are older and on your own, you wont have any real experiences and won't be able to afford too many mistakes. besides, you're a junior so you're what 17? that's definitely old enough to have some freedom!
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lonestar081
Guest
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2008, 01:30:33 PM »
First off, let me say that I'm very sorry about your situation.  I know how it feels because I'm in the exact same situation myself.  This is undoubtedly too much.  You aren't going through anything normal.  I know it feels completely unfair.It sounds like you are an only child and a responsible girl.  Parents try so hard to keep their one kid from becoming rebellious, but their overprotective actions actually work against them.  I'm an only kid too.  Same deal.First, I think you should take care of your dad.  There isn't any excuse for your dad hitting you.  There isn't any excuse for being frightened by your own parents.  I don't personally know the full story, so I can't really give an educated guess of what to do, but I can tell you what partially worked for me.  This is going to sound weird...but I actually broke the rules.  I went out anyway and proved that nothing bad actually happened.  Did I pay for it when I got home?  Yes.  But they saw that nothing happened.  I didn't get high.  I didn't go off and get a tattoo.  I just had a little fun.  Why not mention boys?  Ask them why you can't have a boyfriend.  Stretch your story a little and tell them its a study partner who just happens to be a guy.  There are endless possibilities.  I'm graduating this year and my mom and dad still don't know that I've been out with girls.  If none of this works, remember that graduation is only (give or take a few days) 560-580 days away.  Good luck...I know how difficult overprotective parents can be.    
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Downtoearthchic
Guest
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2008, 06:59:41 PM »
My parents were exactly the same when I was a teenager, I was never allowed out, basically locked in the house everyday after school. I was lucky enough to have a girl across the road to hang out with, but even then my parents would sit out the front to make sure I didn't leave her house. I even got the strap once for going on a fundraiser after school hours even though I got my friend to tell my parents where I was, I was only gone to 2 hours collecting money with my teacher (who dropped us all off by bus out the front of our house)I even had to get my teacher to "have a chat" to my dad one day about a school camp I really wanted to go on, when I came back he wouldn't talk to me for 2 weeks and treated me like crap. I had long hair and was never allowed to get it cut.............gee I could go on forever, my child hood sucked, I got paid out at school for being so different to everyone else. I missed out on a long because of them - I'm now 28 by the way.The only thing I could suggest is to have a chat the them - in a calm tone of course (so they dont say your have a "attitude") & mention that your doing all this hard work/study & you'd really like to treat yourself once in a while ie manicure, facial something to make you feel good about yourself, and there is nothing wrong with that, your a young lady not little girl anymore.Your parents just love you and worried about you which is fine, but you also need your time out too, going off in a rage isnt the best answer, even though it can be really hard at times. I wish you luck with this one, I really know how ya feel.
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BriannaJ
Guest
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2008, 12:28:49 AM »
my dad's like that. i can't do anything. and yes if i get anything below an A then I get yelled at. if i get anything below a B i get punished. it's so stupid. im 15 about to turn 16 and he treats me like a 12 year old. he even set a dress code that i must follow or else. and yes boys is not even a word in our house. and the bad thing is that homecoming is coming up for our school and this boy asked to take me to the dance. im extremely pissed. my dad doesnt hit me but he sure does jerk me. it's so stupid. i keep telling him that im 15 but he keeps sayin he doesnt care and he will treat me like this till i go to college. he expects to much from me. im not an A student. he was and expects me to follow in his footsteps.
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Health Article Forum-Discussion about health care and Health article in Health Article Forum - Strict, overprotective parents--how much is too much? - Health Article Forum-Discussion about health care and Health article in Health Article Forum

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