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Ok, I met this guy over a year ago at work. For the last few months he has been asking me to go out with him. I refused his offer because I knew he was married and I told him that I wouldnt because of that. Well he told me that he had already filed for divorce and that it just wasnt final yet. I didnt give in until about a month ago. We basically talk on the phone for now and see each other at work. Hes been over my house twice. He tells me that hes liked me ever since he met me. He says hes definitely getting divorced from his wife who he has had nothing but problems with for the last 14 yrs. She has left him many times due to a drug habit and ended up prostituting herself for 4 months straight without even coming home or calling him. He has been raising her daughter that she had with some other guy while married to him for 13 years. He treated her as if she was he own and adopted her. She thinks hes her biological father. He took on the responsibility of raising her while her mother ran around doing all these things. He has a 3 yr old son with this woman who was taken away about a year ago because his wife overdosed in a motel with him and took him out with her while she was prostituting. She was caught in the act 5 times cheating on him. He tells me that he cannot forgive her for what shes done and that he is definitetly going through with the divorce. She stays in a drug rehab place 3 times a week and with him the other 4 days. She is aware of me because we talked on the phone after she found texts on his phone from me to him. I told her what he had been telling me which was he wants to be with me for good and that him and her are done no matter what. She now wants to reconcile with him. He says there is no way that he can do this because the trust is gone between them and that he cant ever trust her again. After the wife found out about me she told the daughter that he wasnt her real father and that it was so easy for him to throw them out because of it. For right now he says him and I have to keep things quiet for the sake of his divorce which should take place within the next 6 months. He calls me when shes in rehab or when the daughters not around. I dont know whether to trust him and hold out hope that they will finally get divorced and then him and I can be together or not. There is so much going in his home and it gets frustrating for me. I really do like him alot and would love to have a relationship with him. He seems to be everything Im looking for in a guy other than the fact that hes married to a crackhead. So basically I would like some opinions on whether I should just get out of this now or wait and see what happens with the divorce.The reason he gives for the mother living there is because she has no place to go and he doesnt want his daughter to see her mother homeless when she gets time off from the rehab. He says hes trying to help her straighten herself out so when him and her are finally divorced shell be able to take care of her daughter when its all said and done. Once divorce is final he said shes gone from the house no matter what. He sleeps on couch and she sleeps in room with daughter when shes there. His wife confirmed that as being true when I talked to her on phone.

run

see what happens.!

sorry, he has too much going on in his life.  run and don't look back.  even after his divorce, he will still have to deal with his soon to be ex.  that's too much of a strain on your relationship.  maybe, he'll never divorce her.  why sit around and wait?

wow, he's got some baggage already! Don't be a baggage handler and run..or at least wait until the divorce is FINAL and then continue with the relationship.

well after all of that my goodness no wonder you are looking for someone else's opinion.  Honestly I think that the intent is there for him but as for him leaving and actually having the divorce be final well thats not so easy  you see the way that he is now treating you with regards of his phone call habit have wained and will not talk to you when the daughter is around if you do try to work this out then my advice would be continue with your life and stop making yourself so readily available because I have a feeling that if you stand still for too long this will pass you by

It sounds like you are well aware of what you are getting into, the next question would be is he worth it?  Only time will tell.

i would confront him about ur concerns and take it from there. but if u see where he is misleading and not forth coming about whats going on then i'd say run and don't look back. u don't want to be mislead. just make sure he is being truthful at all times

My best friend started dating her boss at a farm in hawaii, he said all the right things, including things bad about the wife. Children were involved. My friend sat through him going back to her TWICE and it was a f****** up situation. Now, she is completly done with him and on to the next situation. If he likes you enough he will be your friend until everything is worked out. don't get involved

I agree...RUN..What hold does this man have on you? From what you said, I can't see anything in this relationship that you want.  Don't make yourself the next victim! He's going to need time to deal with his issues, alone! And if he gets back with the wife...heck who cares, he's the loser on that...don't allow yourself to be in their circle of bs!

With this much baggage run forest run

If I were you, this is what I would do: Giv ehim an ultimatum. Either he gives her the boot, since they're getting divorced anyway (honestly, they're getting DIVORCED. Is he going to let her live with him after it happens as well?), or I'd be gone. If he adopted the little girl as his own, then he has legal rights to continue visiting her if she and her mother move out. If he's falling for the guilt trip that his wife is giving him about the kid, maybe you should let him know that it'll say a LOT more about how much he loves the kid if he takes her to count for visitation rights...AFTER he kicks her out. Or else, have him tell her that the little girl can stay with him but the wife has to go. And if he won't boot out the wife, THEN you run. She sounds extremely toxic to him and her children. You don't have ti sit around and let her drag you down the tubes as well.

RUN

RUN~

Run and don't look back, he has too much baggage.

You said "like" NOT love, so this should be a little easier.  Let him know what you're feeling, then go.  You shouldn't have to live that crazy life with him. Sure, you feel sorry for him, but it's HIS wife and kids. Let him "go slow" by himself. You don't deserve that burden.  He probably is genuine with his feelings toward you, but this is going to become a huge strain on you & your health. What if 'something else' comes up and the divorce continues to linger in the air, you might be in love with by then. THEN YOU'RE STUCK.  Pack up your sanity and leave now.  Good luck

don't place too much hope in this man, things could always change. even after the divorce, she may still be living in the home.he could still move out that's what people going through a divorce usually do.i would wait until the divorce was final, and see if she left the home.