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I don't want to throw a pity party for myself. But I honestly feel unlovable and unattractive, I am a 20 year old girl, everyone thinks I have it all together, that I'm happy, but on the inside I'm dying. I just want someone to love me with acceptance and care, not looking at all my faults and shortcomings. I tried opening up to my parents and telling me what is going on with me, but all I got was judgements and lectures, because I'm taking antidepressants and they don't understand, they just don' want me to be a bad reflection on their parenting. I love my parents unconditionally and more than anything, even after all they have put me through, so why can't they do the same for me? I just want their love, I don't want their judgements. I understand that no one can be a perfect parent but if I still love them no matter what can't they do that for me and make me feel safe? I'm desperate. I want to tell them how I feel but it's so hard. And obviously I can't talk to friends about it since I've resorted to writing it on the internet... No one has a clue about how I feel inside... I've become good at hiding it. I just need advice on how to talk to my parents and make them understand.

Sorry to hear what you are going through. The only big step is to go up to your parents and talk to them. If you don't make the move then they will never find out how you feel inside. Of course during the right time too. When they are quietly in bed so they can take you seriously.It's not your parents fault for not paying attention to you if you don't tell them what's going on. Talk to your close friend about it. Once you share and let it out, things will get better and relieving. Or talk to a conselor at your college and they will help you. Wish you the best. Never give up!!

i know EXACTLY how you feel...im in the same exact state as you ..im 20 too and  i hate getting out of bed everyday....honestly the onyl way ive stuck it through it to stop thinking about it all the time....its the hardest thing i know and sometimes my emotions are so up and down that my sister thinks im either psming or bi polar or some shit.....but honestly to get through it you jsut have to deal and just get up the courage to talk to them about it....ive tried opening up with my parents and just felt as though its been a huge burden so i tend to mask all my feelings liek you....but you never know...even though i still feel liek shit everyday....talking to my parents about it did help me at the time....so u jsut have to do it....good luck....